Wednesday, February 29, 2012

February Photo A Day Challenge - The End

So the photo challenge has come to an end and whilst I've really enjoyed it, my camera may be looking forward to a rest from my sweaty hands (Feb has been HOT). I've shown you the first 14 days, here's my pics from Day 15 onward.

DAY 15: PHONE


DAY 16: SOMETHING NEW... The $5 ring I bought when on holiday in Robe. Bargain.



DAY 17: TIME.... My Nanna's old watch. Keen eyes may spot a couple of other visible timepieces too.



DAY 18: DRINK


DAY 19: SOMETHING YOU HATE TO DO


DAY 20: HANDWRITING... Look closely, it's the lyrics Adele originally wrote* and discarded. (*maybe, she could have)




DAY 21: A FAVE PHOTO OF YOU



DAY 22: WHERE YOU WORK



DAY 23: YOUR SHOES... this isn't even all of them, but all I could fit on the bench. Didn't even get to include thongs, slippers, ugg boots, runners, etc etc.



DAY 24: INSIDE YOUR BATHROOM CABINET... This pic caused a lengthy convo on FB. Mostly cos people thought I was either anal about neatness, or because I have SO much stuff.


To show I'm not so obsessed with tidy cupboards (the above one is so shallow, so it's impossible to mess things up), I have included a shot of the cupboard under the sink (not to be confused with the cupboard under the stairs where Harry lived).  I only cleaned it out a few months ago, so it looks way better than it used to, trust me.



DAY 25: GREEN

Later the same day, I realised I was wearing green eyeshadow and eyeliner and noticed it brought out the green in my usually murky and indiscriminately-coloured eyes, so this became an additional GREEN shot.



DAY 26: NIGHT



DAY 27: SOMETHING YOU ATE



DAY 28: MONEY


DAY 29: SOMETHING YOU'RE LISTENING TO... This is Fred Magpie. Or Freda, I'm not sure. Fred(a) and his/her family have been visiting my gum tree almost daily for about a month and they have no idea that whenever they break into song (which is a LOT) I stop what I'm doing and listen for a few seconds. Or maybe they do know, and that's why they keep coming back.






Just quietly, I was hoping the final challenge would be something to do with leaping, being the 29th of Feb and all. I even had a flaming hoop ready. Oh well. Maybe in 2016.



Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Smells Like Teen Armpit


Teenagers smell.


And not just any kind of smell; they have their own particular fragrance which has unfolded over time, and just like manufactured perfume, the notes reveal themselves in perfect, lingering, stinking harmony.


Take my 17 year old Daughter. (Pleeeeeeease, take my Daughter. No, I'm kidding, she's okay, she just smells) She and her friends, whilst all varying slightly in the overall olfactive impression they leave behind when exiting a room (and which can take several Dog farts to clear), have generally similar bouquets they love to radiate, as only a gaggle of teenage girls can.


The top notes, which are perceived immediately upon being in the same postcode as the girls, consist of a heady mix of celebrity-endorsed perfumes, chain-store body sprays, and fruity-flavoured lipgloss (the subtle differences between Fruit Pucker, Tropical Smooch and Pomegranate Pout are what makes girls unique). These top, or 'head' notes are a tad superficial but form the initial impression upon presentation, and are therefore important in selling a girl's persona. So if one wears a Britney Spears perfume with Paris Hilton Passport body spray ("It's, like, totally hot") and Sweet Sucker lipgloss, I will assume she is also wearing no underwear.


As the top notes evaporate in a cloud of squeals, hugs and OMGs, the middle notes come to the fore. These consist mainly of freshly applied nailpolish, a strong splash of anti-perspirant-no-white-marks-no-yellow-marks-lightly-scented-for-sensitive-skin-body-responsive-best-protection-ever deodorant, and a generous helping of de-frizz hair straightening product. These are sometimes known as the 'heart' notes. Probably because the pure power of them combined can cause heart palpitations in the uninitiated.


The middle notes are generally used to mask the often unpleasant first impression of what is known as the base notes. The scents of these base notes are often very rich and are usually not perceived until about 30 minutes after the all-night-loud-music-dancing-screaming-gossiping-vampire-movie-marathon-sleepless-sleepover has begun, otherwise known as the "Bitch Please" stage. They can include, but are not necessarily limited to, excessive oestrogen oozings, garlic and/or alcopop breath, the whiff of a favourite never-laundered-because-Justin-Bieber's-bodyguard-touched-the-shoulder tshirt, and odour emanating from feet which have spent the day in school shoes/sports shoes/the moshpit at a music festival and are as yet unwashed.


Then there's my 19 year old son. He and his mates exude aromatic compounds somewhat different to the girls, with only a few minor similarities. However, their head-turning abilities are second-to-none.


Their top notes can be detected as soon as one of their vehicles pulls up in the street, and become more apparent as they collectively waltz into the home environment, via the back door, unannounced. Heavily advertised after-shave designed to attract women, poorly applied hair products designed to avoid haircuts, and just-eaten Big Mac/KFC/garlic yiros. All highly concentrated and intense, but fleeting. Like sex on a chair. (Now I get the 'head' notes thing.)


As these top notes dissipate during the grunting/greeting process, the middle notes emerge to be recognised and acknowledged. Pepperoni pizza consumed some time in the preceding 24 hours, the remnants of the previous night's alcohol consumption on either breath or clothes, an exceptionally acrid signed soccer shirt which only gets washed at the end of the season, the sharp pungency of pimple creams, the very barest hint of cheap but allegedly manly body washes with an undertone of testosterone, the trace of a fart long trapped in the jeans, and sweaty socks which in one more day may be able to grow legs and crawl to the laundry by themselves.


After 30 minutes of hardcore gaming, these aromatic middle notes give way to the depth and solidity of the all-important base notes...


Armpits.


At least I understand something now. All of these odoriferous compounds and accompanying activities were the reason headache tablets, automatic room deodorisers and cask wine were invented.


And I am not in Nirvana.




How does your teen smell? (and please don't answer "through the nose")








Tuesday, February 14, 2012

FEB PHOTO A DAY

I have been taking part in Fat Mum Slim's February photo a day challenge and now that we're about half way, thought I'd bore you, err, I mean, share my pics with you. So far, I have not managed to embarrass myself, even when leaping out of a bush to take a shot of a total stranger. It helps that she had her back to me.... Enjoy.

DAY 1: YOUR VIEW TODAY

DAY 2: WORDS

DAY 3: HANDS

DAY 4: A STRANGER

DAY 5: 10AM

DAY 6: DINNER

DAY 7: BUTTON

DAY 8: SUN

DAY 9: FRONT DOOR

DAY 10: SELF PORTRAIT

DAY 11: WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

DAY 12: INSIDE YOUR CLOSET

DAY 13: BLUE

DAY 14: HEART

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Winners are grinners...


Aaaaaaaand the winner of Lisa Heidke's new novel, Stella Makes Good, is.... drum roll please... thanks to random.org......





Number 3, which is Thea. Yay for you Thea. Lisa will be sending you your new book soon.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Interview Series: Lisa Heidke, Author



Continuing on with my very successful Interview Series (maybe eleven people read it) where the inaugural victim was me, I present Lisa Heidke, Aussie author of Lucy Springer Gets Even, What Kate Did Next, Claudia's Big Break and the newly released Stella Makes Good.


Finish these sentences.

My first words were… ‘get’ ‘peeg’ Translation - could have been ‘peg’ or ‘pig’. Make of that what you will.

My first words should have been… ‘Dianne (sister) is choking me with the dog’s collar.’

My last words will probably be… ‘Really? I was just getting started.’

When I was an innocent child I thought… Samantha Stevens was a way cooler mum than Carol Brady.

My teachers probably remember me as… small, bookish, and obsessed with rabbits

I’ve always wished… As a child – that I lived near The Magic Faraway Tree. As a teenager – that I had boobs…and then one day at university I woke up and voila!

If I could swap hairstyles with someone for a day, I would choose…none of the disasters I’ve had over the years. Probably David Spade’s.

I almost peed my pants when… I watched Horrible Bosses…or was it The Change Up? No matter, I know it featured Jason Bateman.

The most memorable laugh I got was... when I jumped up on stage and sang the chorus to Mustang Sally … because the lead singer of the band took a shine to me and said he’d take me to New York.

If I had George Clooney’s phone number… I would sell it to the highest bidder.

The weirdest thing I’ve done for my work/art/partner (pick one) is… flounce through the Queen Street mall (Brisbane) dressed as a fairy, granting wishes to passers-by! I worked as a PR person for the M.S.Society.

One moment I’d like to forget is… besides the fairy experience? The time I had to dress up as a jockey for Melbourne Cup Day…also thanks to M.S. But the most recent was last Saturday night. I really have to learn to say ‘No’.

I cannot leave home without… credit cards and underwear.

I’m embarrassed that I don’t know how to…tap dance or do internet banking.

The personality trait most useful in my life is… my ability to appear interested and mildly intelligent at school supper evenings.

My favourite Muppet is…Oscar. He gets to hide in trash cans AND be rude to people!

In the movie of my life story, I would be played by… If Emma Stone’s not available, then David Spade. He’d have to don fake breasts and a brunette wig but I think he could pull it off.

When in doubt… claim temporary amnesia (or insanity)

And finally…

Leggings as pants. Discuss.
No! No! No! Only females under the age of two can get away with wearing them. Leggings are not and never will be pants!



Don't forget you can WIN a copy of Stella Makes Good on this blog, check out my previous post. You have til the 7th to leave a comment on the Giveaway post. Go check out my review and enter.

Thanks for playing, Lisa.


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