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| Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Graham Norton & Javier Bardem |
I need a laugh. A big one.
The last big laugh I had was last Saturday night while watching the Graham Norton Show featuring the above three stars of the latest James Bond movie, Skyfall. They got to talking about the Bond girls, Dame Judi said she had never been asked to be a Bond girl 'back in the day', and of course, Pussy Galore's name came up, as it always does, as the most 'classic' Bond Girl name ever.
Graham then announced the formula for coming up with your own personal Bond Girl name.
First name = your word/nickname you used for your genitals (when you were young, or not so young)
Surname = your grandmother's maiden name
I laughed out loud when Daniel Craig admitted his Bond Girl name would be 'Cock Hargreaves'.
And I laughed even more when a lady in the audience had the courage to say hers would be 'Marjorie... something'. I don't even remember the surname, I drowned it out in laughter. She admitted an ex-boyfriend had nicknamed her vagina 'Marjorie', and then it got even funnier when her mother was pointed out sitting next to her, and she acknowledged her father who would be watching the show at home. Poor 'Marjorie'.
So I started thinking and could only remember my 'Privates' being called exactly that when I was young, or it was referred to as my 'Bottom'. And which grandmother?
I guess my Bond Girl name, should they ever come calling for me to take a role, will have to be...
PRIVATE SMITH or
BOTTOM BERTRAM
Perhaps with a bit of artistic licence I could be a soldier-type Bond Girl called Private Botty Bertram?
So come on. Make me laugh. Hit me with your Bond Girl name.

Bwahahaha! That's hilarious, Cate! Mine is not as funny as some of those but still quite amusing: Lady Bits Kerr. *snort*
ReplyDeletehah, that's quite posh :)
DeleteOh dear....mine makes me sound rather incontinent......Wee-wee Rayner!
ReplyDeleteWe'll be able to call you that when you get old...
DeleteOh lord.
ReplyDeleteFanny Pride.
Just brilliant!
DeleteHa ha this is hilarious love Fanny Pride! Mine is Doodle Nelson.
ReplyDelete*snort* I thought only boys had doodles.. ;P
DeleteGirls had doodle's and boy's had willy's. That would make my Brother Willy Nelson!!!
DeleteLord, this just gets better and better...
DeleteFu-fu Gamble (English version)
ReplyDeleteFu-fu Checcaglini (Italian version)
Either way I sound like a ninja turtle, never mind a Bond girl.
LCM x
Fu-fu could be a Chinese panda..
DeleteHmmmm. Interesting concept.
DeleteEspecially when you add in the wetsuit element.
Fu-fu Pee Vee See?
Now THAT is a Bond girl name!
I think you should audition for the next movie with that name.
DeleteWithout a hint of shame,
ReplyDeleteTuppence Ford, delighted to make your acquaintance.
bahaha. Love it.
DeleteTurning it backwards: Beer Down There .... more like a sign than a name though :)
ReplyDeletePMSL You're a pub :)
DeleteOh dear,
ReplyDeleteAs a bloke...
Jewels Martin
My wife's effort made me cry:
Pussy Percy
cheers, Croweating
oh good lord, they are both brilliant, you make a fine duo!
DeleteI love the fact you have anonymous replies to this, haha.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not saying! (But I do adore Graham Norton)
mini Bellringer at your service
ReplyDeleteTruly awesome :)
DeleteIn the interest of sharing, I should add that my Daughter's would be Fanny Oates. I'm not going to tell her...
ReplyDeleteVagina Clarke. Less Bond girl, more weird librarian. These are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteSo sophisticated, Bern!
DeleteOh mine's already taken, but it would be Fu-fu Patinaud. This post was fun. You've made me laugh and now back to work!
ReplyDeleteOMG another Fu-fu, that's hilarious :)
DeleteI watched that episode as well and lost it when the "Majorie" part came on!
ReplyDeleteWinky Glennon or Winky Hibbard ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think Hibbard, flows well with Winky.... lol
DeleteJust want to add some of the ones which have been told to me on Twitter.... I HAVE to share...
ReplyDeleteDown Below Bigelow
Turtle Macgyver
Widdle Bramich
Botty Hepburn
Bottom Mann
All fabulous :)
turtle? lol
DeleteI love the Graham Norton show - it's so funny! And this ep made me laugh out loud too. Marjorie!
ReplyDeleteI would be Fanny Lynn
ReplyDeleteor bottom mcdonnell
But I prefer my own made up bond name "Titsa Plenty"
Vadge Downs!
ReplyDelete