The Interview Series: Myself

I have a series of interviews lined up in the coming weeks... okay, by series, I mean two... so I decided to first test the format on someone who doesn't really matter. Myself.

I plan to give all my future victims... err, I mean, interviewees... yes, all two of them (hopefully more at some point)... the same list to complete. I hope they find me less ridiculous than I do.


Finish these sentences.

My first words were… probably met with disappointment.

My first words should have been… get me out of this nuthouse.

My last words will probably be… get me out of this nuthouse.

When I was an innocent child I thought… every family lived in a nuthouse.

My teachers probably remember me as… having a different name.

I’ve always wished… I was taller. I'm too short for my weight.

If I could swap hairstyles with someone for a day, I would choose… Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie. Tough decision. Now I know how Brad Pitt felt.

I almost peed my pants when… Lance Armstrong followed me on Twitter, accepted my dinner invitation, and DMed me to ask for my address. I guess that's 3 near-pees.

The most memorable laugh I got was… when I was doing Michael Jackson-esque dance moves at a Christmas party, squealed a high-pitched "wooh" and grabbed my crotch. My friend laughed so much she actually did pee.

If I had George Clooney’s phone number… Lance Armstrong would breathe a sigh of relief.

The weirdest thing I’ve done for my work/art/partner (pick one) is… ask my mother if my husband could wear one of her dresses. I won't explain, I'll just let you ponder that.

One moment I’d like to forget is… only one? A party where there may have been plentiful wine, then vodka skolling contests, before some shirt-lifting and dancing in front of a window, followed by rolling of an ankle and falling over in the garden.

I cannot leave home without… reminding myself to NOT participate in drinking contests.

I’m embarrassed that I don’t know how to… upload photos from my dumbphone to any sites. Yes, I am the dick who still pulls out a digital camera when the candles are being blown out.

The personality trait most useful in my life is… my sense of humour. See my answers to the first four questions. Enough said.

My favourite Muppet is… Beaker. He talked gibberish nobody understood. After drinking contests, I can totally relate.

In the movie of my life story, I would be played by… Kate Winslet. She's worked with a merkin before.

When in doubt… blame the dog.

And finally…

Leggings as pants. Discuss.

LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. Sorry for yelling.



Thanks for playing, me.
No worries, me.