The Girls With The Draggin' Title Pages

I know, the title of this blog post makes very little sense right now, but it will all become clear. And it's not about either the Swedish movie, nor the Hollywood copycat version with Daniel Craig.
And before you get carried away, I don't mean these girls...



... I mean these girls...



... the lovely Lisa Heidke's novel Stella Makes Good, and the gorgeous Lia Weston's novel The Fortunes Of Ruby White.
The Girls were draggin' around with me on my recent holiday and I decided to share what they and their somewhat bedraggled and sand-encrusted title pages got up to.

A convoy of vehicles (two cars) packed to the hilt with 4 humans, 2 dogs and beach paraphernalia (as well as jumpers, ugg boots and umbrellas - the forecasted weather was awful) headed south of Adelaide for the 4 hour drive to the lovely seaside town of Robe.
Luckily for my bladder, the dogs needed as many breaks as I did, and the lactose-challenged drivers needed their iced coffee hits, which unfortunately led to a windy evening, but that's another story.
Lunch at Meningie was a shivering affair. The dogs crapped everywhere and The Girls refused to get out of the car, lest their (at that stage) pristine pages get ripped to shreds in the biting wind. (the real kind of wind, not the flatulence kind, that came later).
Eventually, The Girls couldn't hold their chapters closed any longer and needed a wee break at Kingston so I decided to let them out to paraphrase on the grass under the Big Lobster.



Please excuse the stoopid man photobombing The Girls, he followed me around all week.

When the convoy arrived at the holiday house (possibly bigger than my own home, in fact the main walk-in-wardrobe could've housed a small-statured family quite comfortably), The Girls quickly checked out the fabulous kitchen and declared they would do all the cooking.



Unfortunately, this plan evaporated when it was found that cooking can be difficult when you are an inanimate object with a paper back and no thumbs. Damn. Fish'n'chips for the win.
Spent a f-f-f-f-f-freezing day sightseeing at Beachport. By sightseeing, I mean sheltering from the wind and eating copious amounts of food, followed by hot cinnamon donuts for which we had no room in our guts. But we made room.
The Girls found a sheltered spot down by the jetty...



...while I scoped out my next holiday home purchase... (I wish)...



And don't be fooled by the blue skies and sunshine, the warmest day was when it finally hit 21C but the wind was still coming straight from the South Pole. (not to be confused with the cinnamon-scented wind coming from over-full arses)

The Girls visited The Obelisk at Robe...



...and had a great view of the mighty Southern Ocean. I didn't. Bloody hair.



The Girls were fondled gently in the evenings by the other girls... Wait, am I still talking about the books...?



The Girls were becoming more than a handful... ahem... and I decided they needed some discipline in their spines, so I took them to the old gaol/jail ruins where they frolicked their little paragraphs out in the exercise yard...



... before sneaking off to the gaoler's rooms to offer him a 'synopsis' in return for their freedom...



... before getting their endsheets slammed back into the cells.



After a hard day of flashing their text around, The Girls relaxed in the sun...



By the way, I think it's quite unfair that I got burnt and am now peeling, whilst The Girls managed to keep their pretty covers intact. Bloody publishers and their glossy cosmetic makeovers.
Anyway, we had a BIG day of boogie boarding and The Girls managed to keep all their conjugations dry, though somewhat gritty. I tell you, that sand gets in every semi-colon, doesn't it?




One last evening of relaxing on the back deck with a drink... what? You can't see The Girls' drinks?.... Oh, yeah, I swallowed them. Can't have them getting drunk and putting their apostrophes where they don't belong. They might damage their hyphens.



I may not have a book out, but I do have a coffee mug inspired by me, so it posed with The Girls for one last shot before heading home...



The End.


I had thoughts of this being a review, but I was so tired from being The Girls' tour guide, social director and chaperone all week, that I did not read one single page of either book. Sorry Lia & Lisa. Next week....