Things You Find Behind A Chest Of Drawers...

Things you find in the Daughter's room, behind a chest of drawers which has not been moved for more than 7 years...

• Dust. And not just layered. But clumped. Balls of it. Great big fistfuls. Chunks big enough to play nerf baseball with. And to cause catastrophic sneezing and associated back spasms.
• Tissues. Please don't ask me if they were used, I tried not to look as I retrieved them with my long-handled barbecue tongs.
• A shirred tank top. Well, it was once shirred. The elastic has withered away and the top now just... hangs. And it doesn't hang well enough for my liking, I think her boobs outgrew it in 2008.
• One sock. This won't help me make a huge dent into finally clearing my odd sock basket, currently holding steady at 17 lonely socks, but it's a start.
• The removable straps of a long ago grown-out-of summer top which we could never find the straps to, which I almost went back to the store to complain about never receiving.
• Wrappers. All sorts. Previously containing chips, sweets, gum, chocolate and... umm... feminine hygiene products. I am going to attach a flashing neon sign to her rubbish bin as she apparently has trouble finding it.
• Two pairs of dust-encrusted shorts, children's size 6. Been there a while. She now wears ladies size 8/10.
• An Eiffel Tower keyring. Neither myself nor my Daughter have ever been to France so I assume it was a gift from one of her jetsetting friends. Or a fake.
• A half-filled bottle of Impulse body spray. To go with the other six half-filled bottles scattered around the room.
• Lego bits. And not just any old Lego. Belville Castle pieces which cost us two arms, a leg and a kidney for her 5th birthday and was permanently residing back in its box by her 8th birthday. She's almost 17. Why do we still have it? Because it was expensive, dammit, I'm going to make her and her friends play with it at her 18th.
• A thoroughly destroyed cover and shredded inner leaflet of a CD of The Saddle Club. She received this as a gift from a relative many years ago and was never really into the Saddle Club, so I suspect, strongly, it may be the one item behind the drawers which ended up there deliberately.
• Two pencils, a pen, a wad of Bluetack, a pencil sharpener, two paper clips and three rubber bands. Of course. Don't you all keep your stationery hidden behind a chest of drawers so nobody else can pilfer it?
• A Harry Potter poster. I'm stunned she hadn't missed it, she only has about 73 other assorted movie, rockstar, witch, wizard, vampire and werewolf posters up on her walls...
• A stain. It appears that at some point, long ago, perhaps a can of Coke sitting on top of the drawers was knocked over, causing a small amount of its contents to trickle down the wall and onto the skirting board, leaving an intricate pattern. Oh don't worry, I didn't clean it. It's just getting covered up again. Duh.
  
  
  

Oh. Crap. The sock doesn't match any of the other lonely souls.

18.