Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Spanish Inquisition
Blimey, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. But that's what I got, thanks to Cardinal Biggles, AKA Tim from Bringing Up Charlie.
Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and a nice red uniform.
The crafty Cardinal has even forced me to sit in the comfy chair whilst threatening me with the rack (which looks suspiciously like a dish-drying rack), and had Cardinal Fang (Charlie) poke me with soft cushions.
He has inflicted my tortured, weakened self with this meme, though I prefer not to think of it as a meme. I would rather it be viewed as a brief, amusing interlude situated between long-winded, ridiculously sarcastic posts.
So, to answer his questions....
1. If Hitler had won, Goebells had none and Franz Joseph was blessed with three, what was the score after extra time after the match had gone to penalties?
Who cares? The World Cup is over. We didn't win, England didn't win, thank goodness the Germans didn't win, we were all robbed, let's move on... (though the Spanish did win so I should probably be careful how I answer from now on ...nah, who am I kidding?)
2. How is it that a calendar - which had no moving parts - can, unlike a stopped clock, still record the passage of time?
I'm not sure that it does, especially when somebody forgot to write an orthodontist appointment on there.... trust me, time stood still during THAT argument.
3. Is the King of France bald?
I only know the King of Id and he is a fink.
4. Seaside or countryside?
If I want to watch foamy waves rolling in as the sun sets on the horizon I go to the countryside and if I want to watch green rolling hills basking in the afternoon sun I go to the seaside… wait, I have that the wrong way round… I must be dyslexic.
5. Why is the sky blue?
Well, my sky is blue..... I thought you only see a grey sky in the UK?
6. Does God exist?
My dog does. Hey, I'm dyslexic.
7. What is the meaning of life?
I'm glad you asked. A team of the world's most brilliant minds, including mine, has been working around the clock and has finally discovered the meaning of life. At great expense to the taxpayers of the world, and possibly causing such terrible side-effects as the Global Financial Crisis, the BP oil spill, and Justin Bieber's popularity, we are now very pleased to finally reveal it to all you bloggers. The meaning of life is..... [READ MORE]
8. Why do flies always find a way through the smallest of gaps even though they've got the entire WORLD to fly around, yet find it impossible to find their way out once they're in your house?
They must be males.
9. Do bees have ears?
Well, the Bee family I know all have ears as far as I can tell. Although according to Mrs Bee, Mr Bee has selective hearing and the middle child says "What?" rather a lot so perhaps I should check...
10. Are blogs the future?
Not according to Back to The Future. Marty McFly travelled forward to 2015 and I don't remember noticing Mummy Blogs being of particular importance to the plot.
But that does raise another question… how soon do I get my hoverboard?